I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
