guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
