Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Two words: nipple clamps
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