So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
