I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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