I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Floor bacon is actually really good
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize