everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
