would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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