Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
