She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
