I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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