Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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