I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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