they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
