Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize