Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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