i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
