You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
