whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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