i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
