I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
