Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
