.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
