either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
