i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
