Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
