He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
