remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
