there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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