Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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