You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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