Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
