Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a waste of cheezeits
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize