Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize