dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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