Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
