All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm having to shit out rocks
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