Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
