watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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