i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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