Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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