she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
