if you like me you must not know who I am
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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