I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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