My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
