I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
one might say we're banned from that church
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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