Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
