she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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