its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
