Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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