you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
