It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
