The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
