They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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