If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
